domestic violence victims

Michel’le’s Lifetime biopic Surviving Compton aired Saturday night and almost everyone had an opinion on it. But, what was most shocking was how many people showed their stupidity proudly across various social platforms. On one hand, many men and women believed Michel’le told a more honest story compared to the picture painted in Straight Out of Compton.Then there are the idiots of the world. The people who question her motives, claim she’s being dramatic, and a WHOLE lot of victim blaming. Of course, this was the perfect opportunity to block the F*boys of the world in case they decide to slide in my dm’s a little later. And for all the women virtually high-fiving these bums, I’m judging you.

What’s Michel’le’s motive?

This question irritates my soul. Everybody has a right to tell their story unapologetically! If Dr. BEATS by Dre didn’t want to be seen as a monster he should have kept his hands to himself. Because you don’t get to treat people how you feel like it and then control how they tell the story. You really think she owes her abuser respect and discretion? Bye, ashy! Her motive was for everyone to see the other side of Straight Out of Compton and she has the right to do just that.

Michel’le was being a little dramatic

What?!?! Are you taking the “But did you die?” defense to domestic violence?

Real Comment: “I think there’s some truth to both but I think BOTH are exaggerated for each sides portrayal of their story. Did abuse happen yes but I won’t hesitate to think that maybe her story was dramatized”

Here’s my issue with this statement, you’re basically saying there’s a certain level of abuse that deserves empathy. You’re also telling other women that unless they’re almost killed and proof can be provided then the abuse barely happened. You’re also telling men that if they just hit you where no one can see it, where it won’t bruise, or just a few times then it’s a small issue. It’s never a small issue and no one deserves abuse at any “level”.

Michel’le was a hoe and did drugs so she’s equally responsible.

According to the internet, Michel’le being with Suge Knight and Dr.Dre makes her a hoe and using drugs to cope with abuse is grounds for being abused. THIS LEVEL OF STUPID IS INSANE! Why do people love blaming the victim? Yes, she ignored some major red flags in the early stages of her relationship, who hasn’t? Michel’le mentions being taught from young that abuse was a part of love. Yes, she dated her ex-abusers bodyguard who definitely wasn’t given off the good man vibes. It is very common for domestic violence victims to end up in multiple abusive situations. You do remember Suge was kind when she needed it the most like a true manipulator would. Regardless, she’s human and in no way did her choices make it acceptable for her to be mistreated. Just like a rape victim’s outfit doesn’t take away from her experience. Stop blaming the victim because it allows the offender space to not be accountable.

What do you teach your children?

Michel’le shared with us that she was being abused many times in a room filled with people. No one came to save her and they are no better than her abuser. As mentioned above she also shared that she was taught at a young age that abuse was simply a part of love. So, when I hear people looking for reasons why her story doesn’t meet their standards and doesn’t deserve the same level of respect I get upset. What do you teach your children? When you use your voice to discredit someone’s story do you realize that you’re hurting others? One in three women have experienced domestic violence in their life. So when you watch a woman pour her heart out and turn around and say “It couldn’t be that bad’, you’re silencing those women. Now they’re afraid to speak up and heal.

I mentioned on twitter during the airing of Surviving Compton that I couldn’t stay with a man that hit me because I’d leave him for a lot less. I didn’t realize that statement might have made another woman feel embarrassed about her situation. My comment sounded a lot like only weak women get hit but when you consider 1 in 3 will deal with some sort of abuse it makes you wonder. I believe abusive men are attracted to vulnerable women. However, anyone can become vulnerable at any point and that’s scary. So be mindful of how you judge a situation you’re statically very likely to experience.  Many domestic violence victims are afraid to do with Michel’le did because of the undeserving backlash. It’s like being abused, screaming for help and the world telling you to shut up ( a whole different form of abuse).



3 Comment

  1. I actually witnessed it one day at a club where my mom’s ex-bf used to host artist showcases. She came fussing a bit, I believe he hadn’t been home or something like that. Before we all knew it, he was tossing her around and throwing her in the car telling her to go home. I felt so bad for her, and lost a lot of respect for him that day. HOWEVER, I got over it fairly quickly because this was the early 90s. And, as she notes in her interviews and the movie, this was the norm for those of us living in and dating men in certain lifestyles… (mostly drug dealers, rappers and drunks). It’s not that I’m downplaying abuse by any means, because I went through it multiple times, and even married it (drunk who watched his daddy beat his mom). But, there was something going on in our minds that led us to believe that this was the lifestyle for us, and with the lifestyle came the @$$ whoopins. I’m just glad she’s telling her story because it’s making me re-examine our thinking then, and our thinking now. The 2016 Me would NEVER stand for any type of abusive relationship. Thanks for sharing!!! #YouRock

    1. Oh wow, thanks for sharing! Glad you aren’t dealing with that behavior anymore.

      1. #BLMGirl

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