D’mani DeVoe – amotherslove2-D’maniDvoe-chs-0516

Be A Man, Be a Child

Why do we tell our young sons to “Be a man ” and the moment they puff out their little chests and make attempts to do what their idea of manhood is we push them back and say “Stay in a child’s place”? Why are we raising confused children?

There are few things young boys are exceptionally great at:
1. Breaking  Things
2. Getting Dirty
3. Being Active

What they don’t do well in is being  men. This is simply because they aren’t adults` and have yet to grasp what being a man entails. If we could be honest there are actual men that have yet to grasp this concept. Yet still we look at our baby boys and urge them to grow up faster than they should. The fact that a little boy that still needs assistance after using the bathroom is being told to be a man is not ok.

I’m not some perfect mother that has never told her son to grow up when he does something that I feel he shouldn’t. I mean I’ve explained to him numerous of times that it’s nasty to put things in his mouth or he has to stop crying when other children play with his toys. But he still does it and I tell him “Grow up and be a big boy.” To my credit, I’ve never told my son to be a man but I think the message is still the same. He may very well know when he’s not on his best behavior but, learning good behavior is a part of the process. This is why I try to teach him right from wrong instead of just saying “Grow Up”!

What makes a man a man away?

I found an article on Askmen.com called Traits of a Real Man. They list 8 traits that they feel every real man still adheres to today. According to askmen.com:

    1. “A real man can defend himself
    2. A real man keeps his house in order
    3. A real man takes care of his appearance
    4. A real man makes his own fortune
    5. A real man strives to be a role model
    6. A real man’s word is his bond
    7. A real man doesn’t gossip
    8. A real man is focused”


First of all this list is everything. Am I right ladies!


But on a serious note, little boys can’t do any of the above. Yet, we still say “Be a man.” I believe this statement truly comes from a good place. All parents want is to see their children become amazing, successful and happy individuals. The problem is they don’t share the same level of understanding as we do. How do we expect them to  be children and adults simultaneously when they are literally unable to multitask in any area of their lives.

I once read a quote that said something to the effect of parenting becomes easier when we view our children as people. People that often deal with their own feelings and confusion about themselves and everything around them. Why place the weight of adulthood on the shoulders of someone that’s still trying to figure out what’s acceptable behavior for a child? I don’t have any scientific evidence but I feel they may grow up to be men constantly trying to make up for their childhood.

Also, why don’t we ever tell our little girls to grow up and be women?



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