Natural Hair Cult Life
You ever notice that the natural hair community will swarm at you in levels higher than Beyonce’s Beyhive if you slip up and disrespect the team. #Teamnatural is more than a sisterhood of afros , coconut oil and the deep phobia of relaxers. We will join forces like superheroes and remind others that they’re living life completely wrong just for not knowing the difference between an essential oil and a carrier oil. Girl you better know your oils! The cult will cut you if you still grease your scalp and insist that a texturizer has different ingredients. It doesn’t!
In the natural hair cult there’s this love of all textures with a “secret” appreciation for one over the other (it’s true). But at the end of the day our members come together and fight the good fight(s) and usually never come to an agreement. We can’t even agree on what it means to be natural or who’s allowed to consider themselves natural. Remember that time white women wanted to be considered natural and most of us was like “Bye, Becky!” I mean does Becky With The Good Hair really need the natural title? Either way we came together and shut it down so hard Becky went and got a perm instead. True story.
We may not know what the hell we want but we know what we don’t. We don’t want members of the cult allowing other races to play in our hair as a political statement. We don’t want you deciding what you consider a protective style on your own either. All protective style must be pre-approved by Level 3c members. For those of you in Level 4 high risk texture, all blonde and silky weaves will automatically be declined. You know what? We do know what we want after all. We want you guys to be care free black girls that still follow all the natural hair laws that we’ve not agreed on yet.
Please be patient with the cult, we get a lot of traffic in the summer time when it’s too hot for wigs. We’ll be processing new members as quickly as possible so please make sure your big chop is clear of all relaxed ends. Please be advised, relaxed ends don’t count in length checks. For those of you transitioning , just let it go already!
Hope You Got a Good Laugh, Enjoy your day!